The Voicemail Thing

J Philip Faranda May 26, 2011

I understand the importance of voice mail. As a broker, I value it as a tool to retrieve and leave messages since I and my fellow agents cannot always be available to answer calls.  

Some of the messages I get are priceless. Greetings amuse me too.  

Like, for example, the agents who have a 90 second voicemail greeting about their integrity and commitment to follow up who take a week to call me back. That is always fun to sit through. 

I also get messages from folks who feel that their first name is ample information for a complete, thorough follow up since we met for 5 minutes last week. Or better yet, the guy who tells me how important it is that we speak ASAP but neglects to leave his phone number, leaving me to jump through forensic hoops. And you have to love the people who don’t disclose they are an agent until you call them back. 

That does not mean, however, that I have the hang of it. Far from it.  As a leaver of messages, I leave quite a bit to be desired.

My offense is a Jackie Gleason-like, hemana hemana stream of consciousness yapfest that people have to endure which never seems to come out right upon reflection after I hang up. It is typically long, stuttering, and completely unlike me because the silent absence of a pulse on the other end gives me no feedback as to whether I should zig or zag in my tone, pace or delivery. In rare cases where the menu allows me to review my message, I cringe when I hear myself, and I almost always delete. 

My solution is what I prefer when my own recieved calls go to voicemail: a name and number, or, better yet, a missed call on their readout will also suffice if we are familiar. So if you ever see a missed call from me, just call me back. Ignore the message- we’ll catch up when we speak in person. It’s better that way!

 

 

 

 

 

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