The Indecisive Buyer

J Philip Faranda November 13, 2009

The following is, in part, an email I just wrote to a former prospective buyer. For reasons unknown to me he started working with another agent a while ago, and I heard over the grapevine that he was a “no show” at a contract signing recently, which is not the first time he’s gotten cold feet. 

I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I think he’s worried sick over making the wrong decision, and there is no one in his life telling him what he needs to hear. So, given my insomnia and the fact that I have no financial interest in what he does, I hope my words resonate with him. 

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I might as well lay down my hand given the news I got today. I heard about a month ago that you have been working with another agent, so I sort of hoped I’d get lucky when your number  came up for that last accepted offer (finally, after so much bad luck and rejected offers) but I guess it wasn’t to be. I can’t make you buy a house from me, but I do wish you well. I have no beef with you because I don’t know the full story. 
I heard you left your attorney “at the altar” with a contract unsigned, so I suppose even if I can’t earn a commission with you I can do a good deed (nobody asked me to reach out; I can’t sleep & this might settle my mind). I’ll try. Here’s the way I see it: I have bought homes and brought children into this world. In my view, the bigger deal, the bigger commitment, and the bigger responsibility is a son or daughter. Once you are a father, buying a home is no big deal. It isn’t a human life, it isn’t a soul, and it isn’t a human being who depends on you as a father. It is a place where you live and build equity over the decades. You aren’t freaked out by fatherhood, and as a matter of fact it suits you. What is stopping you is perhaps a fear of the unknown or reticence to make the wrong decision. It isn’t like that, though. 
If you like a house, it can’t be the wrong house, any more than God sending you the “wrong” child. You adopt it. 
You have seen enough houses to know the lay of the land. You’ve seen far more houses than most, fewer than some (a small some). Just pick one and put your 4 pegs in the ground. You can’t tour homes forever, and yes, someday, somewhere, a better deal might sprout up than the one you bought. The market might even go down. You don’t buy a house because the market has reached it penultimate, lowest, bleakest point, and you don’t necessarily buy the best deal on the planet. You buy a home. You make what you buy your home. Just do it. Get on with your life. It makes no difference to me, but you are a good guy and it seems like nobody is smacking you in the head and telling you what you need to hear. Just do it. Do it because it is time to do it. 
Call the lawyer up to reschedule, sign the deal and stop worrying that the stars weren’t perfectly aligned. They are aligned plenty. You’ve seen enough homes. If you like the house enough to make an offer it is your home. 
You’ve already made far bigger commitments.  

 

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