Meet Joe Sasquatch

J Philip Faranda October 17, 2011

I got Sasquatch beatPerhaps you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Joe Sasquatch and his lovely wife, Nessie. I never have, but a former client of mine knows someone who either knows a mutual friend or knows OF Joe, but the details are not important. 

Joe, if you haven’t heard, is the guy who bought that $700,000 bank owned foreclosure a few towns over for $200,000. It was in mint condition- no deferred maintenance or structural issues. Somehow, the prior owner either bought it new or did a massive, high end rehab on the place (we aren’t sure), but lost the house to the bank before any deterioration took place, and in the serpentine process of Westchester County court red tape and administrative archipelago, the legion of bankers, lawyers, brokers, appraisers and contractors all overlooked how undervalued this completely renovated (or new, not sure) place was and it just ended up in Joe and Nellie Sasquatch’s lap. 

Apparently, The Sasquatch’s were the only bid on the place, and the story goes, they looked that REO agent in the eye (I have never seen 99% of our area REO agent’s eyes, for the record) and said “Well, does the bank want to keep the house or do they want our cash?” and BOOM. The house was theirs. $500,000 instant equity. 

Joe is no stranger to remarkable occurrences- I vaguely recall that , in high school, Joe narrowly escaped death by having his stomach pumped after ingesting Pop Rocks with a Sprite chaser. Rumor was that he died after his stomach exploded, but no, how could he be dead if he now lives in this great house he bought in, um, Scarsdale-no, Harrison- wait- Bronxville? Not sure. 

Besides, Joe was the guy who bought that short sale a few years back when he sent that email to the listing agent saying “Why doesn’t the bank just take our $100,000? Or would they rather have the house?” Word is that his email made it to the inbox of the chairman of Bank of America, who reportedly said “my God. He’s right,” and then personally drafted and signed the approval and release. Joe then resold the place for a huge profit after placing one ad on Craig’s list. 

I just wish someone would introduce me to Joe Sasquatch so I can ask him what his secret is. 

Have you met Joe? Or, like me, have you just heard of him? 

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