Maybe You Should Clean the Litter Box of Your $900,000 House

J Philip Faranda May 9, 2010

Staging is not rocket science. I have often stated that I am no expert in presenting a home, but I don’t think that it takes a Nobel laureate to figure out that people looking at homes priced a stone’s throw from (insert optional Dr Evil voice here) $1 Million have certain minimum expectations, among them a lack of poop when they walk through the place. 

Clean the cat litter sometime this week you dope

I am an animal lover, and I do understand that if you are out for the day that the Tidy Bowl man can’t climb out of the commode tank and keep the litter box immaculate. But maybe you could clean that thing before you leave the place, or cut back on the high fiber cat food prior to getting an accepted offer. For about 20 bucks, they also sell covered litter boxes, which ensure that the odor and sight of poop can be contained just a tad. 

Again we are not talking about a rundown rental house in West Schnookville, we are talking about one of the most affluent zip codes on Planet Earth with a commensurate price tag, and all my people will ever remember about your place is that rancid sight and smell of a neglected litter box. 

Fecal matter does not sell houses. And while we don’t require white glove treatment for your $900,000 crib, it would be nice if you faked the effort. Yes, I know we should look past it all and imagine the house with our things in it, suiting our needs, blah blah blah. But it really would help if you acted like you give a crap (ouch, sorry). It is ill-advised to gross people out when trying to sell them something. 

Oh, and by the way: You may not know it, but yes, it does smell. And worse than you think. You are just used to it. 

Get with it. I’m just sayin’. 

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