I am your agent. I am a professional. I have a college degree. I value your business; as a matter of fact, if I don't produce a result for you and my other clients, my kids don't eat. It is in that context that I am offering this post, in good spirits, good humor, and in all truth. This is a compilation of things I have either wished I told some clients in the past, or in fact did tell them.
- I don't carry your file in my car. Even if I did, I can't read it while driving. So please understand that when I couldn't give you a clear answer about the sale memorandum from March 2nd it isn't because I am an incompetent agent, it is because I am a competent driver.
- My kids typically go to bed between 8:30 and 9pm. If at all possible, I'd like to be there for that.
- If I tell you that I have to take another call and you don't let me go, you force me to choose between hanging up on you or screwing another client over. That call could be an attorney I have been trying to reach for 3 days, a town official on a permit, or a short sale negotiator who I need to reach to prevent a foreclosure.
- If I tell you exactly what you need to do to sell your home or get your offer accepted and you don't take my advice, basic logic dictates that you cannot blame me for the result.
- If I do not call you back when promised it doesn't make a me rat fink bastard who is unworthy of your business, it means I was held up in a meeting or had something critical come up that I had to address. You don't hold it against your attorney if they have to run to court or your doctor if they get called to the ER. Cut me some slack. I wasn't watching Match Game '77 on cable.
- I find pejorative references to my potential commission to be unnecessarily degrading. You don't know what I keep.
- Your agent friend in another state doesn't know how things are done here. I wouldn't advise you on a deal in California either.